Coping with apathy as a carer
It can be difficult to see someone you care about withdraw like this – and hard not to take it personally. But it’s no one’s fault and it’s probably not intentional.
It can also feel as if you’re losing the person. However, this isn’t necessarily the case. Apathy can often improve with the right understanding and support.
[carer referring to person with dementia] I’ve found her less- what’s the word … less emotionally engaged with the grandchildren now... I think there’s a subtle difference there. She still loves them but I don’t think it’s quite as … what’s the word? Umm … yeah not quite so engaged with them.
Why might a person with dementia lose interest or stop caring?
One explanation for apathy in dementia is that certain parts of the brain involved in processing thoughts and emotions are damaged by disease.
When this happens, it can change a person’s behaviour. It’s a difficult situation as their brain no longer has the ability to feel as motivated as it used to. As a result, the person struggles to start new tasks or have normal emotional responses.”
However, for many people apathy seems to be less about damaged brain circuits and more about trying to cope with the difficulties of living with dementia – and this is perhaps where there is a more realistic hope of being able to improve things.
In dementia, many everyday tasks need a lot more effort than they used to. This can be tedious, frustrating and sometimes even humiliating. It can make many things feel as if they are not worth the effort.
Over time, this can affect a person’s willingness to try to do things for themselves. It can be easier and safer to do nothing.
…I don’t know why but I can’t talk, I can’t make conversation. I don’t mean I won’t speak to them or answer them or anything like that, I’m just -, I don’t know, call it quiet. Um. Let everybody else do the talking.
Supporting someone with apathy
There are many things you can do to encourage a person to stay motivated and engaged.
A really important part of this is supporting them to feel useful and have a purpose. Most people want to keep contributing in a meaningful way. No one wants to feel useless.
When a person with dementia looks like they’re struggling with a task, it can be tempting to want to help by taking over.
However, it’s important to allow them space to take their time and make mistakes without fear of negative consequences. The point is not to get the task done, but rather to actively engage in the process of trying.
Be encouraging and positive where you can. Ideally, encourage the person to take on roles and responsibilities that are within their abilities. This will provide a sense of purpose and help to build confidence and self-esteem.
