Dear Amy: I have recently met a man who is Mr. Right in virtually every respect. He is smart, funny and attractive. He thinks I am wonderful.

The only problem is that he wears a very bad toupee. I’m not against fake hair entirely, but when it looks like a dead cat, it does nothing to enhance the appearance of the wearer.

I would like to suggest that he dispense with it entirely. I think he would be even more attractive if he would just shed the bad hair. We are both in our early 50s, so I can’t imagine why he feels that it is necessary to maintain this obvious sham.

I would like to suggest to him that maybe it is time for a makeover that involves losing the hairpiece and embracing his baldness, but I do not want to insult or alienate him.

What is the best approach? I would stay with him to the bitter end even if he decided to keep the bad hairpiece, but I think it would be better all around if he turned it in for the Bruce Willis look. — Perplexed Girlfriend

Dear Perplexed: You should choose an intimate moment where you’re together, but not necessarily staring eye to eye.

You should say something like, “First I want to say that I adore you, just as you are. But I wonder if you’d be willing to go for that sexy, gorgeous, grown-man Bruce Willis/Montel Williams look that I love so much. Would you be willing to take it off, take it off, take it all off?”

You won’t get an answer from him right away. My (admittedly limited) experience with men who wear toupees is they think that others don’t notice their hairpieces because they believe their toupees make them look like themselves. (They think their baldness makes them look like their Uncle Manny.)

A hairpiece that is applied with epoxy may need to be removed by a professional. (Because I have no life, I actually found instructions on the Internet for how to remove a glued-on toupee.) Give your guy some time to ponder your request and get it together to have his toupee removed. If he doesn’t do so, you could mention it one more time, and then you should drop it and stay true to your word to love him just as he is.

I would love to hear from men about this hairy issue.

Send questions to or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.