For all the surrounding hype, heroes and villains can get so boring sometimes. Their endless posturing, the undying honor taking on the endless evil, it’s all been said and done before. Sometimes, the characters who really capture audiences' interest – for better or for worse – are the heinous, despicable cowards who lurk in the shadows and endeavor to find themselves as far from the action as possible.
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It doesn’t matter if they’re royalty, gangsters, or a high school kid in 1955 mustering the courage to ask a girl out to the ‘Enchantment Under the Sea Dance’, these movie cowards had a way of staying with audiences long after the credits rolled. Some can only be viewed as cinema’s most detestable weasels; others are opportunists we can’t help but love despite their glaring flaws, and all of them are among the best movie cowards ever put to screen.
HATE: Scar – ‘The Lion King’ (1994)
One of Disney’s greatest villains, Scar (Jeremy Irons) is the contemptible brother of Mufasa (James Earl Jones), the king or Pride’s Rock whose reign resides over the Pride Lands. Wanting the throne for himself, Scar plots to have Mufasa killed, manipulates Simba (Matthew Broderick) into fleeing, and rules the land with the hyenas as his henchmen.
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Scar’s cowardice is on full display when Simba returns to Pride Rock to inherit his father’s crown. He begs for his life, blames the hyenas for everything, and, when the time comes to fight, uses every dirty trick at his disposal to try and win. Unfortunately for him, the hyenas overhear everything and quench their hunger in a moment of poetic justice which made everyone happy.
LOVE: Sir Robin – ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail’ (1975)
Monty Python and the Holy Grail is widely regarded as one of the greatest comedies ever made, with many great characters contributing to the non-stop hilarity. Among the very best of them was ‘Brave’ Sir Robin (Eric Idle), one of the four knights to stand alongside King Arthur in his quest for the Holy Grail.
His small posse of followers highlights the knight’s character amply, making note of how he so bravely runs away from many duels, much to the cowardly warrior’s chagrin. Sadly, the reputable knight doesn’t survive the events of the film, failing to answer a question at the Bridge of Death and, thus, falling to his death.
HATE: Robert Ford – ‘The Assassination of Jessie James by the Coward Robert Ford’ (2007)
When you’re described as a coward in the title of your biopic, well that says it all. Though it is worth noting Robert Ford (Casey Affleck) isn’t a character who we passionately hate as much as he is one we are discomforted by, as his idolization of Jessie James (Brad Pitt) teeters on the boundary of fanaticism and obsession.
Ford studies James with a disconcerting attentiveness which makes viewers – and the notorious outlaw himself – nervously ponder what his true intentions could be. Paranoid and able to bear the indignation he suffers from James no longer, Ford eventually shoots him in the back while living as a guest in James’ home. The film’s gorgeous epilogue shows Ford was unable to shake his reputation for the rest of his life.
LOVE: Crewman #6 – ‘Galaxy Quest’ (1999)
A loving parody of Star Trek, Galaxy Quest follows the cast of the hit TV series ‘Galaxy Quest’ who are contacted by an alien race to help them combat a cruel foe who hunts them through space. Initially disbelieving of the scenario, the lead cast of the series are promptly whisked through time and space to answer the call, though among the crew dispatched is Guy aka Crewman #6 (Sam Rockwell).
A series extra who is well aware of his character’s – and his own – expendability, the Crewman spends the bulk of the film trying not to put himself in situations where an extra might not survive. Thankfully he does make it through the film and is even rewarded with a promotion to the main cast of ‘Galaxy Quest’ upon return to Earth.
HATE: Carter Burke – ‘Aliens’ (1986)
There have been many despicable company men in cinema, but few are as truly detestable as Carter Burke (Paul Reiser). A representative for the Weyland-Yutani Corporation, he hides his ulterior motives from the rest of the squad beneath a sleazy veil of false kindness.
His true nature is finally revealed when he tries to have Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) impregnated by the face-huggers while the space marines are otherwise occupied, a plan which doesn’t quite work out for him. While he is spared execution by the enraged space marines, he is claimed by a xenomorph not long after to the delight of everyone watching.
LOVE: Mr. Pink – ‘Reservoir Dogs’ (1992)
Toeing the line between opportunistic survivor and gutless coward, Mr. Pink (Steve Buscemi) is often the mitigator between the feuding mob of crooks for no other reason than his own personal safety. Whether it’s his thoughts on tipping waitresses or how best to survive the aftermath of the botched robbery, he is opinionated but quick to back down when opposed.
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His behavior is no less cowardly when the guns come out, but there is a common sense to his actions which endears him to the audience. After all, he is the only member of the gang to come out alive, though his ultimate fate is still a topic of discussion between fans of the film.
HATE: Fredo – ‘The Godfather’ Trilogy
One of the greatest movie cowards of all time, Fredo (John Cazale) is the least capable of the Corleone brothers, evidenced by his inability to act during an assassination attempt on his father in the streets. However, it’s not until The Godfather Part II that his cowardice and ineptitude is put on full display.
Jealous and spiteful towards his younger brother who has been made the Don, Fredo plays an active part in a rival gang’s assassination attempt on him. While he’s remorseful to Michael (Al Pacino) and tries to make amends, the indiscretion couldn’t be forgiven and Fredo was promptly killed at Michael’s request.
LOVE: The Cowardly Lion – ‘The Wizard of Oz’ (1939)
Few movie characters are as renowned for their cowardice as The Cowardly Lion (Bert Lahr) in the 1939 classic The Wizard of Oz. What makes the character not only so lovable but rather admirable is his biggest ambition to be imbued with the courage he lacks.
His time to prove himself comes when Dorothy and Toto need saving after being abducted by the flying monkeys and taken to the Wicked Witch. When the time comes to have his wish fulfilled, it’s revealed that the Cowardly Lion – like his companions – already had that which he craved so, deep down, may not have been so cowardly at all.
HATE: Commodus – ‘Gladiator’ (2000)
Treacherous, cruel, patricidal, incestuous, and obsessed with power, Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix) found plenty of ways to make audiences hate him, but it was arguably his cowardice which was most loathsome. He schemes in the shadows, has no moral boundaries, and (like any great coward) despises his courage being called into question.
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Under pressure from the Roman public, Commodus challenges Maximus (Russell Crowe) to face him in the arena only to stab him in the back moments before their duel. Even with Maximus fatally wounded, Commodus is overpowered by his foe with his gritty death scene one of the most rewarding in cinematic history.
LOVE: George McFly – ‘Back to the Future’ (1985)
It’s been nigh on four decades since Back to the Future was released and still, we are yet to see a better movie wimp than George McFly (Crispin Glover). Introduced as a downtrodden family man, it’s apparent when Marty (Michael J. Fox) travels back in time that all of George’s issues stem from his high school bullying.
Having interrupted his parents meeting, Marty needs to inspire George to ask out his mother in order to maintain his own existence but faces his father-to-be’s cowardice as his single greatest obstacle. When the moment comes though, George rises to the occasion, rescuing Lorraine from Biff while changing the course of the future with the most satisfying punch in cinematic history.
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